How to Turn Lust into Love

Tips on how to get out of his bed and into his heart.

Unsplashed

You see him chugging a beer from across the room and although he doesn’t look nearly as sexy as Harry Raftus does while doing it, he’s still pretty damn attractive.

@harryraftus on TikTok (…see what I mean?)

Looks are exchanged throughout the night and some intense feels are being felt between you two.

He’s hot, you’re hot, and you’re ready to jump him.

Fast forward a few weeks. You two have been hooking up and it’s been a wild ride so far, but you’re starting to want more.

Maybe you don’t want to only be remembered as his booty call. Maybe you guys vibe together more than you did with any one of your previous boyfriends. In both cases, a relationship is coming into question and you might be interested in pursuing one with him.

---

So here’s how you can step up the relationship from being all about the sex, to being all about the love.

1. Make Sure You Actually Like Him

I cannot stress this enough. Don’t get that sexual tension mixed up with real feelings because if you end up dating him and then realize you were actually only into the sex, you’re sooo fucked.

2. Read the Room (aka. HIM)

Try texting him during the day about whatever comes to mind and see how he responds. If he responds pretty fast and seems open to talking, then there’s potential! If it takes him hours to respond and he only sends back emotionless two word answers, then he’s probably only dtf. Having some real convos with him about the things that matter will definitely give you some insight on how much he’s actually into you.

3. Drop Some Hints

Depending on how clueless he is, this can either seal the deal or get you absolutely nowhere. These hints can be anything from just telling him how much you like spending time with him (warning: don’t gas him up too much) to asking if he’s open to dating in general.

4. Shoot Your Shot

Make your move and be assertive! Just be real and say something like, “Hey, I have fun spending time with you and I’d love to take you out sometime.” Girls think it’s hot when guys make the first move so why wouldn’t guys think the same? If you’re straight up with telling him you dig him and he feels the same, that’s a home run baby. On the other hand, if they shut you down in the beginning then at least you didn’t waste your time. Being open and honest from the start will save both of you so much time and effort.

5. Be Patient

I feel like this is a rookie mistake that we can tend to easily fall into when getting into a new relationship. Although you might want to text him as soon as you wake up in the morning, DON’T. Creating enough space for both of you to figure out how you feel about each other is essential if you want the relationship to last more than a few months. Control your urges and let some time pass because trust me, time without you will keep you on his mind. He’ll be thinking about the next time you two will talk or see each other, and he may even be the one to initiate it.

6. Live Your Own Life

This tip is more of a reminder to not shift all of your attention onto him. Remember - you have shit to do and big things to accomplish. Being in a relationship should add something to your life and if it doesn’t, move on.

Overall, don’t be shy and go for what you want! Don’t be afraid to take the lead, make your feelings known, and be confident while doing it.

Hookups are great and all but if you want your dude to become your guy, take my advice and roll with it. Be yourself (hella cheesy ik), but seriously. You’re a bad bitch and you know it, so if it doesn’t work out like you hoped, then at least the trash took itself out!